On being forged into a warrior mom

If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!

This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.

Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.

November 19, 2013

Of Idiocy, Indifference, & the IACC...

Warrior Mom's of Autism are pretty potent.  Everything about them multiplied over typical mom's.  You could probably get by with lame excuses of being too busy in not helping with a bake sale or something, but with warrior mom's and advocacy, that ain't gonna fly.  When warrior mom's ask you to do something, you don't tell them you're too busy.  They'll laugh at you if they don't smack you upside the head first.  No, when a warrior mom asks you to do something above and beyond the above and beyond you already do, - you simply find a way to do it.
That's what the warrior mom's who went to Washington, D.C. did. They asked me to go to Washington, D.C. with them to give oral testimony at the IACC.  I went over my list of excuses why I couldn't, then abruptly had to quit because they had the same ones, they're autism mom's too, yet they were going.  Then I came to a big one that I thought would for sure get me out of it "smacked-upside-the-head" free....   Money.  I simply had none to even justify using to go.  So I told them I simply couldn't afford to go.  Even that didn't stop them though.  They proceeded to plan our trip.  In my brilliance I thought I would play chicken with God, I guess you would call it.  I told Him that if He wanted me to go, He would have to send me a ticket to go.  Note to self:  Never play chicken with God.  He'll call your bluff.  

A business person in the Autism community who I have met at different conferences and resource fairs over the years, bought me a ticket. So, off we went to Washington, D.C.  I want to share that though I am writing this from my perspective only, there were other parents who made the sacrifice to be there and who shared their testimony:
Carolyn Gammicchia
Carol Fruscella
Dawn Loughborough
Megan Davenhall, who read the written testimony of Lisa Joyce Goes

What was so surreal for me in even being there in Washington, D.C., is that the last time Carolyn, Carol, and I were there together, was for the 1st Autism Rally & Congressional Hearings on Autism.  Thirteen years ago.  That we even had to be back there still fighting the same exact fight, was very sobering.  Depressing really.  Will the next time we all converge there be when we're in wheelchairs?  I pray not.  But make no mistake, the caliber of women I was with that day in April 2000, and that day on November 15, 2013 -- is that if need be, we will be.

That's what gives me HOPEISM.  Knowing that despite any differences we each may have in what our child needs - we will find a way to join together, putting all those differences aside, to collectively fight for our children.

Our adults.

When I was last there, my son was a child.

In January 2014, he will be twenty years old.

Which is precisely what saddens me most regarding the autism community.  How lately so many are attacking "their own" so to speak.  Using their brilliance and talent to repetitively attack a select few over and over, accomplishing absolutely nothing but further weakening, further dividing, a weakened and divided autism community.  I sat in that room at the IACC meeting wishing that person were there with us, truly investigating each person in that room who needed to be investigated. Which was most of them.  Using his time, talent, and brilliance in writing to help in the battle of us against them.  Not pitting us against us.

So much time spent in "An Open Letter to ......"  Then because some other organization didn't agree, their own "An Open Letter in Response to......"   How such waste of time saddens me.  The clock is ticking in my life on earth to care for my son; and for groups that claim to represent us to spend such time in wasted effort just tips me closer to the edge of insanity.  I want this to be my "Open Letter to All Y'all's" that says "STOP".  Stop wasting time and effort. We have an autism crisis.  To sit there and nit pick to cover all politically correct bases is a waste of time.  There is room on this autism battlefield to accommodate all who need what they need.  If someone wants a cure, they deserve it.  If someone doesn't, it doesn't need to be forced on them.  "Life with Autism" for my son is a silent, painful disorder.  One that yes, has brought such joy and meaning to our life, but one where my son is very much in need of medical treatment.  Medical healing for him to have the chance one day to talk.  To advocate for himself!  Autism for him isn't an alternate lifestyle where people must simply accept him and adapt to his quirks.  I do not want to, nor will never, view burning hot lava spewing out of his ass as something to accept.  I will never think that in advocating for my son, that he would rather me just accept his seizures that have split open skin, broken bones, shattered teeth, and landed him in the emergency room more times than I can count, as part of who he is.  No, I will watch how he must suffer and know in my heart that that is not the lifestyle he would choose to live.

What I share is my perspective of being at the November 15, 2013 IACC Strategic Planning meeting.  If you want facts and numbers and specific people who said what - I urge you to watch that meeting.  It was truly eye-opening to me, someone who has never been to one before.  And as much as I hated to go and give oral testimony, I honest to God want to be at all further meetings. If for nothing else than to be a presence of truth in a room full of lies.  Someone representing our truth must be at each of those meetings giving oral comments and sharing the truth they refuse to see.  All of us, for every meeting, must make the time to submit written testimony. 

That's perhaps the short version of my take from the trip.

The IACC...
To find out what that stands for and what the role of this committee is, click here.
Parents who care for children, youth, and adults who have an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, I beg of you to familiarize yourself with this committee.  Take some time to browse through their website and listen to previous meetings.  Read about who is on this committee.  And always, always submit written testimony to be included in the meeting.  So very many of you said that you submitted written testimony, but it wasn't included in the handouts each member received.  You must clearly indicate in your submission to them for specific meetings, that you want your written comments included in public input as written testimony to be made available to each member of the committee.
IACC Website
Public Comment Guidelines

I think one of the first observations was from my friend Carol.  She wrote in my little Mickey Mouse notebook, "We are sitting at an IEP Meeting for this committee and no one can agree on how to write the goal."

What they were trying to accomplish is to put together their strategic plan that would justify  their thirty minutes of wasted time in introducing themselves to each other when the meeting started, and the millions upon millions of dollars spent in doing absolutely nothing of value.

Please click here to read all seven questions they are to answer in that strategic plan.  I kid you not when I say that the five of us parents who were there that day, could have answered those and found studies already done that illustrate our points.  Most autism advocates and parents could, and that was so depressing to hear them all go back and forth among each other and all their fancy titles, and know that they are the ones in charge of helping my son.  When each of us parents in that room knew more than them regarding those questions.

Perhaps to me, the most poignant illustration of that is their "Question Three" -- which is:
What causes this (autism) to happen and can it be prevented.

Not.One.Mention. of toxins, poisons, GMO's, the nutritional deficiency of non-food fast food, vaccinations.


I wanted to cry.  This committee with millions of dollars to truly make a difference, truly help, and not one mention of any of the things that have been proven independently to trigger the biological dysfunctions that cause a diagnosis of autism for so many.

You know what IACC, here's your answer to that question...  Toxins in vaccinations, Poisons in our environment, Genetically Modified Food, fast-food, processed food, multiple vaccinations at once -- all contribute to the epidemic of autism.  To prevent the possibility of your baby being adversely affected -- remove all toxins from vaccinations.  No multiple vaccinations at once.  I would say to not vaccinate, but we'll start with baby steps.  Ban GMO's, eradicate Monsanto's poisons in our environment.

Parents -- not one mention of any of those things were spoken.

Not one.

I hope this puts fear in each person reading this.  Parents must stand up for the health of their children as we did that day.  If we were each not there and in some way mentioning those things, it would not have been mentioned at all.  And that scares me.  Tremendously.

Parents whose children are receiving special education services in the public school, the person representing the Department of Education wasn't even at the meeting.  All of you who are battling schools, who have children who have been in some way bullied or abused in schools, no one was there to represent you.  Not one mention of special education services.

This is where I beg God to have me win the lottery.  I want to be able to be at every IACC meeting to answer their "Question Three" over and over again.  All of you must be submitting written testimony if you can't be there in person, in answer to questions three.

I think at one point in the discussion of the cause of autism, Insel shared about an App for Parkinson's that helps diagnose it based on speech patterns.  He wanted to know if there could be an "App" developed that would diagnose autism.

I can see it now.  "Autism, there's an App for that!"

You know what Insel?  The "App" for that would be that any mother going to her Pediatrician's office to vaccinate their baby - would have an alarm sound that would say, "Danger!  Autism potential!  Tear the consent form in two and walk away!"

There's your "App" for Autism.

It only got worse after that.  One highly initialed 'expert' suggested that we could track mother's based on their cell phone to see where they go -- as some way to determine the cause of autism.

The only tracking that must be done, is who is vaccinated, who is not, and who is healthier.  That question has been asked, and answered, in other countries, with the result being that the unvaccinated are healthier.

That is the tracking parents in this country must demand before they ever consent to another vaccination ever again.

Insel also asked what yard line they are on in identifying autism.  He asked if we are on the 30, 40, etc yard line.... 

Insel, you, and the IACC, aren't even on the field.

In identifying it, treating it, let alone doing all that can be done in helping to prevent the biological devastation to a child's body from it. 

You have no clue.

It was then oral testimony time, and all five of us did very well in the delivery of our comments.  I was so proud to be among such women of strength who stood up and spoke the truth.  Who made the sacrifices to be there.  The teamwork of one person who could be there, sharing the testimony of someone who couldn't be there.  God gave me the strength to get through mine, and the boldness to stare down Boyle and Insel during parts of my testimony.
Click here to view my testimony.

I couldn't take any more after that.  I was physically drained from being in the presence of such disdain and disregard for our children's health.  There was a presence of such lies and corruption in that room.  It's hard to put into words.

My friend Carolyn stayed until the bitter end, and from her recap I know I didn't miss much.  When she shared that one of the members made reference to how perhaps our children could "grow out of it" - I knew I would have been arrested had I been in that meeting.  That Carolyn shared that studying adult issues or services for autism was underfunded by that committee tells me that they even further have no clue.

As I said in my testimony, there's an entire generation who will "age out" of public school/services and who will have no where to go.

I don't want this to be a feel good blog.  It's not.  It must be sobering to each who read it because there is much work to do and there are no excuses for anyone not contributing some part to doing it.

That committee must have parents there at each meeting to be that elephant in the room.

To speak the truth.

Those handouts they receive must be in the hundreds with regard to public comment received as written testimony.

Congressional Hearings are coming up the fist of December, from now until then each parent must be writing to their Congressman or woman with regard to that "Question Three" in what causes autism and what must be done to help prevent it.

Please, I beg of you, CLICK HERE and make your voice heard.  Please support the efforts of so many who are working together for our children.

That night after the meeting, Carolyn, Carol, and myself went on a monument tour.  We needed to just do something fun and for me, try to put aside the depressing reality that is the idiocy and indifference of the IACC.

But the whole time we were on that tour, I kept wondering if it was worth it to even have been at that meeting.  We were but five in a room full of so many who out initial us and who have the funds to out spend our truth and perpetuate their lies.

Then we came to the last memorial.  The wall.  That sobering wall with endless names etched in it.  It was fitting that it was dark, and cold, and raining.  It fit my mood after being in the presence of such dark and cold indifference.

I just stood there and could do nothing but touch the names.  I don't know anyone listed on that wall.  I will never be able to relate to what any of those names went through, except in wondering if they thought their sacrifice was worth it.  I was sure pondering if my insignificant compared to theirs sacrifice to attend that meeting was worth it  If what I said would make any difference.  When they left to go fight a war that perhaps they never wanted to fight, did they wonder if anything good would come from it?  Did they think they should just stay home and let someone else do it?  If they could come back and stand there as I stood there and touch their own name, would they be proud of how they gave their all, or simply regret that they did?  If they could do it all again knowing their outcome would be the same if they did, would they?

I just wanted to cry as I am now in writing this. 

I honor them by saying yes.  It is worth it.  Fighting a battle worth fighting is always worth it, no matter what the odds, opposition, or outcome.

We honor them by never forgetting their war.

We honor our children by Never Quitting our fight.

The November 15, 2013 IACC battle is over. 

The next battles are just beginning.

Please be a part of them.

Congressional Hearings on Autism

January IACC Meeting



written by Michelle M Guppy

November 13, 2013

Standing in the Shadow of God's Glory

Well, this is it!  A third trip to Washington, D.C. to advocate for my son who is severely affected by autism.  My first trip was for the 1st ever Autism Rally and Congressional Hearings  thirteen years ago, in April of 2000.  The second trip was "The Power of Truth" rally regarding vaccines.  This one, to hopefully indeed have time to give my five minute oral testimony to the IACC.

Let's hope this time "13" is a lucky number.  Though I don't believe much in luck.  I believe in HOPEISM, and I have great Hopeism for this trip.  Despite what a gut-wrenching-anxiety-driven-panic-attack hardship it has been in preparation.  I hate to travel.  I hate even more to speak in public.  But when my long-time advocacy warriors urged me to go, I found myself telling God that if he wanted me to, he would have to provide a way.  I simply "ain't got no funds for that."  And, he provided a way.  Someone bought my ticket.  It seems the right time to go.  There is momentum building - many "autism" things have recently happened last week in Washington, D.C., are happening this week, and will be happening in the near future.  Oh, how I "HOPEISM" that change is a' comin'.  But, that does little to make my going there any easier.  I still would rather not, and am kinda counting on an appendix to burst or something minor, fully recoverable, and within the scope of the travel insurance parameters for full refund, to happen before I leave!


The Pastor of my church hit the nail on the head with last Sunday's sermon about Moses.  I feel Moses' pain.  When the Lord sought him out to deliver the Israelites, this was his reply:

Moses said to the Lord, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant.  I am slow of speech and tongue."
To which the Lord replied:

"Who gave man his mouth?  Who makes him deaf or mute?  Who gives him sight or makes him blind?  Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

And so, on Thursday morning at 12:39 I will board a plane to Washington, D.C.  Me and my stumbling speech and shaky voice will indeed go.  And I will trust that He will indeed help me speak clearly, and in under five minutes, and give supernatural impact to the words I say.  To the words all of us warrior mom's or dad's there will say on behalf of our children who are so severely affected by autism.

My friend Carol who was also at the 1st Autism Rally and Congressional Hearing, messaged me to pray Ephesians 6.  I ask all of you of faith to pray that for us all (in light of autism advocacy) who will be there on behalf of our children.

The Armor of God

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. 

Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words my be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains.  Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.


I thank you again for your prayers for me on Friday.  That God's Power, and Truth, and Majesty, and HOPEISM  overshadows everything the enemy would use to hinder me, and simply leaves me standing in the shadow of His Glory when it's all said and done and I travel back home to the family I so love and who make it all more than worth it.

Please pray for Todd as he cares for Brandon and somehow tries to get to work at some point. 

Pray for Brandon that he sleeps.  So Todd can sleep. 

No seizures so Todd can go to work.