On being forged into a warrior mom
If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!
This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.
Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.
January 27, 2018
These ARE your children, this IS your circus...
I used to think that it was politicians who need to spend a day in my "Life with Autism, Seizures, and a side of PANDAS"... But the older I get, or perhaps hopefully the wiser I get, I think it's actually young parents, or parents-to-be, who need to spend that day or week walking in my shoes.
In my old, tired, and nearly worn-out shoes...
In January, I quietly turned 50...
Brandon, who is the above-mentioned "Life with Autism, Seizures, and a side of PANDAS" crazy, mad, wonderful son of mine, --- is 24 years old.
I have spent about half my life so far, living a life few could imagine with a stress that is entirely unfathomable.
I have shared openly, transparently, and quite honestly about that life in my various blogs, each of which have a specific message from my journey:
From hell to HOPEISM
Journey through the Bible
Where HOPEISM Blooms
Life with Autism in Pictures
And the overriding message is this... while I have highlighted the very, very good, it is the very, very bad that is what leaves the bitter aftertaste at the end of the day.
I don't intend this to be a woe is me type post. I am stronger than that, and hopefully if you've read any of those blogs shared above, you would see that. It is more a woe will be to you if you don't heed this warning and pledge to be #AllIn.
And I don't necessarily mean this as a condemnation post to anyone reading this.
What I intend this to be, is more a call to conviction.
You must be convicted of something before you can fully understand why you must take action on it.
I'll put a spin on the saying, "Not my monkeys, not my circus" because I do not want to appear as if I'm equating children to monkeys - because I most definitely am not. But I do like that saying for how it applies to the point I wish to make.
If I could go back in time to April 2000 when a group of then rookie moms organized the first ever autism awareness rally and Congressional Hearings... We knew what caused our children's autism. We knew we needed to stop it. And we tried our very best to do just that. We begged fellow moms to join us, to hear us, to shout the truth with us.
Because if they had listened then, there would have been no need for a Texans for Vaccine Choice now.
Let that soberly sink in.
In fact, I'll say it again...
If parents, friends, relatives, co-workers, fellow voters, had been #AllIn then, there would be no need for me to beg each of you to be #AllIn now.
If nearly two decades ago everyone in our sphere of influence, in our "listserve" groups back then, would have been #AllIn -- we would have all been out of this mess by now.
Yet here we are.
Those veterans like me who are now 50 or older - still fighting the same fight. Still finding time, making time, stealing time for the cause even though we can never get back the time our children lost. Still hoping for the healing of our children's health that was stolen and may well forever be stolen.
As was the case then, many of us now veterans in this war look around and see the rookies among us wishing for change, yet not sacrificing a thing for that change. Content to know that someone else is out there doing or saying what they won't. Someone else out there sacrificing what they refuse to. Rookies today truly have no clue what their life will be like when they too, quietly turn 50 and are still in this circus of vaccine injury. When they wake up worn and weary yet still have to gear up to take care of their adult child with vaccine injury.
If the reality of vaccine injury has not sunk in, allow me to be your sledgehammer...
As hard as Brandon's toddler, child, and teen years were, -- I assure you his adult years have by far overshadowed all those years combined.
And the adult years will be longer.
It is you who need to see what it's like to have to lift, clean up after, and care for someone who weighs as much as you, or more.
It is you who need to see what it's like to still have the same expenses not covered by insurance that do not care if you are living on a retirement income.
It is you who need to experience what it's like to wake up and not have anywhere safe or appropriate for your adult to go.
I am tired.
I am way too busy.
I am financially broke.
But neither of those things are an excuse to not do what I can, give what I can.
As hard as it is, as vaccine-injured as your kids may be, -- if we don't succeed in stopping every vaccine mandate that comes through each session -- it will only get harder. You will be more exhausted. More financially ruined. And will have fewer options for help because there will be more and more the state must help.
And all who aren't in this vaccine-injury/autism circus -- these are very much your children because your taxes will be so high in caring for them for their life, that you will be as financially ruined as we are. Perhaps more so because there will be fewer and fewer actually able to work to contribute to taxes. We will all die, and you will be left with footing the bill for not only this entire generation of children who will have a normal life span but who will never be able to live or work independently, but the next one as well if we don't stop the vaccine mandate train now.
Those like me are fighting this war not for our children -- ours are already vaccine injured. We are fighting this war for your children one day so that you have the choices we didn't. The information we didn't. So that you can have the healthy children we didn't because of vaccination.
It is you who feel these aren't your children and this isn't your circus - who need to come spend a day in my home. It is you who need to see the terrible toll it takes. It is you who need to see the urgency to help fund Texans for Vaccine Choice and other like-minded organizations.
Because it is YOU who are voting for the candidates who will win the office who will then help mandate the further maiming of yet another generation of children by mandatory vaccinations.
YOU need to see the true picture of what vaccines do for health.
And to the current multitude of parents who do have vaccine-injured children, it is you who need to find something you can do or some amount to give - to TFVC. We veterans didn't have a dime to our name all those years ago when we were spending every waking moment planning and organizing and attending the rallies and hearings. While at the same time spending every penny we had in trying to heal our children from what we knew injured them -- vaccines. But we knew the urgency and importance and we did without. Without sleep, without a marriage, without money. We worked so hard to stop the madness then, so you wouldn't be where you are today with a vaccine-injured child.
Yet here we still are.
And here I am still pleading with you to think of all those in your circle, all those younger than you, - and all they will have to go through if you do not do all you can now.
Stop for a few moments and think about that.
Is the life you are living a life you want to pass down to anyone in your family who might have children one day?
Think of the milestones your child has missed -- do you want your children to miss out on those in their children should they be vaccinated to near death with no choice?
What is the ability for them to have that choice worth to you?
Don't be of the ignorant mindset that they won't be your children, it won't be your circus.
Because they will be.
It will be.
If you are fortunate enough to have a typical child - it is their children you must fight for so that they won't be left with vaccine mandates with no exceptions.
And no state left to hide in.
I was fortunate to have one non-vaccine injured son. He lives in California, they will most likely have a child while living there. They want to come to Texas one day when he is out of the Navy...
Don't allow our lawmakers to California our Texas!
Don't let all our work all those years ago be for nothing.
Do not think someone else is going to protect your child, your grandchild. It is your responsibility to do the thing you can do.
And everyone can do something.
These ARE your children, this is your circus.
And there is no choice but to be #AllIn
As for me, I absolutely detest having to give yet another dime yet again. I am at the age I should be enjoying empty nest and a life of traveling with my husband. Or at the very least be able to spend my money on whatever the hell I want to...
But yet again I will pledge to give that which I do not have to give, and trust that God will provide.
When fighting a war you don't get to stop when you're tired, old, burned-out, too busy, or too broke.
You get to stop when the enemy is tired.
When the war is won.
And it seems our enemies are getting their second wind.
And this war is far from being won.
So what will you give to help win it?
~ ~ ~
Be All In --
Click these links and take action however you can...
Texans for Vaccine Choice
Texans for Vaccine Choice Facebook Page
Texans for Vaccine Choice Twitter page