Choosing Happy...
Living Joyfully...
Following Christ...
Wearing Camo.
HOPEISM........
HOOYAH!
Ones that make me laugh and lighten the load that at times is way too heavy --- are where I refer to myself as a Stark-Raving-Mad-Laughing-Lunatic who loves the Lord.
What sometimes describes my "Life with Autism" best -- is that I live life on the edge of crazy yet not too far from sane.
Crazy, mad, wonderful - is a reflection of how each day goes down around here!
But in all those words that I love -- perhaps these two are what truly say it all:
I'll Stand.
For my own personal Christian journey -- there's really no other two words that are so action-packed.
Isaiah 6:8
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
I like to think Isaiah stood up and raised his hand high when he answered. I'm not sure if I was Mary I would have stood up and volunteered to be an unwed, pregnant woman. I'm not sure if I was Isaiah I would have stood up and volunteered to live "Life with Autism". Sometimes you are chosen and then have the choice to stand up and conquer or turn around and run away.
Each and every morning when I come to my computer searching for that elusive autism cure or treatment that I'm sure will be there, I am choosing to stand.
Each and every seizure that knocks my son to the ground, I choose to not stay there, but rather to somehow find a way to stand.
Each and every day that the burden of injustice and oppression from the medical and vaccine and drug industry weighs heavier and heavier, I find a way to do my part to chip away at it, and stand.
Some days, by the very end of it, all I can say that I accomplished was that I somehow managed to remain standing.
Or that I stood up more times than I was knocked down.
For the past couple years my faith has not been lived out sitting in a pew at church, but rather in my little internet corner of the world answering e-mails and giving hope. Posting things my son has inspired in me, to hopefully encourage and inspire others.
When you live by "I'll Stand" it means that you do what you can, where you can, and as often as you can.
I've missed more appointments than I've attended due to autism. I've not answered more e-mails than I've answered due to autism. I've had more medical treatment and testing disappointments than I'm sure anyone has ever had - in still having no clues or help for my son's seizures.
But I've not let that defeat me -- I've done what I could, when I could, where I could, as often as I could.
And so when my friend Tonya Frye posted pictures that Jenifer Weeks took of her family, and one in particular where they were all in a long line holding hands --- I instantly thought of an image that describes my own family -- and our faith.
All of us in a line holding hands --- standing tall with arms raised.
I asked Jenifer Weeks if she would take such a picture for me.
I wanted that visual picture of the faith our family has -- Todd, Matthew, Brandon, myself -- our faith forged from hardship. From going through the heat of hell without being scorched in the process. Each of us together have endured some things that would cause many to crumble to the ground. But because of our faith, our family, we have each remained standing.
Someone asked me why have her take the picture from behind. No, it wasn't to show off my rump that could stand to lose the three sizes that the Grinch's heart grew.
But rather to illustrate that it is not by my might, but God's.
It's not our Glory we want anyone to see -- it's God's.
I don't want anyone to think that anything good or inspirational that I wrote or have written was because of me; but because of God's impact in my life.
When you live life like that, it's not "you" that people see, it's God.
That's what I so desire.
If I'm considered any kind of leader, I want it to be the kind that leads someone to the God I follow.
That's what this picture represents.
That though imperfectly at times, we have stood with arms high and heart abandoned. That even through any defeat we must face in the coming year, we will still remain standing with arms high and heart abandoned.
In awe of the one who gave it all.
All we are is His.
And that's all I want anyone to see.
Click here to listen to "The Stand" by Michael W. Smith
I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrender
All I am is Yours
I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered
All I am, all I am is Yours
I'll stand,
I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
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