On being forged into a warrior mom

If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!

This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.

Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.

August 7, 2010

The story I hear...

He gazes ever so peacefully at the water
Calmed by its movement

I smile at him

And think of all the people he's touched

Hope he's given
Scriptures he's lived
Laughter he's brought
Lessons he's taught
Tears he's shared
Anger he's tamed
Pain he's endured
Obstacles he's overcome

His complexity of need reminding me to be content with what I have
His timelessness of a moment mocking my pursuit of more time in a day
His imperfections humbling my perception of perfect
His ignorance challenging me to redefine what intelligence is

The grudges he does not know how to hold
The decit he does not know how to contrive
The ugliness he cannot differentiate from beauty
The black he does not know from white
The insecurities he does not understand he should have
The academic achievement he doesn't feel a failure for not possessing
The career he isn't ashamed of not having to make him feel worthy

I watch him in wonder at his wisdom



He understands the music of life
He's moved by its rhythm
He dances to its melody

I watch

I listen

His eyes sparkle
As his soul sings out

His story

The story I hear
From the child
Who has never spoken

Written by Michelle M. Guppy

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