Where dusk meets dawn.....

It's the middle of the night and I'm wide awake.

Finding myself joking about how God couldn't have given me two more opposite children if we wanted to. We're talking as far as the east is from the west.

Not two hours ago I was in the kitchen at 11pm as one came home from Firefighter cadet training listening to his stories of what he learned.

Not three hours ago I was listening to the sweet silence of the other as I tucked him in and made sure he was warm.

My boys...

One can't talk, the other can't be quiet!

Both beautiful in their own special way, both serving a different purpose in my life.

With one, my job is to further talent; with the other, to uncover potential.

If I were to have to choose which one more valuable, I couldn't.

It's hard enough just trying to balance the two.
To emotionally come to grips with how much one easily accomplishes daily, with how much the other struggles to overcome daily.

I often find myself asking God what I'm asking him right now in the middle of the night....

Where?

Where is that place of understanding from which I can draw strength from?
Wisdom from?

Where is that place where one child's endless ability to answer questions meet with the questions I seek answers for in the other child?

Where is that place where my days stress, failures, obstacles, and fears, -- fade into the stillness and perfectness of a clean unspoiled new moment that is neither past nor present?

That place where there is no more tiredness of the day before, and no tiring thoughts of the day to come.

It is here in my thoughts where God answers.

Saying to just thank him at the end of the day for the whirlwind of one son.

Saying to just not worry about how I will help the other one tomorrow.

Saying to just live right here, right now, in this moment that can be any moment of every day.

Saying to feel its peace it embraces me.

In this moment.

This midnight hour.

Where dusk meets dawn.

Where there is neither past nor present.

Where there is simply, - now.

Where God's comfort and calmness resides.

Where God's mercy awaits.

And where hope begins.

Again.


~ ~ ~

Written by Michelle M. Guppy
February 2, 2010
...as penned from my midnight prayer to God