On being forged into a warrior mom
If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!
This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.
Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.
April 12, 2013
Thanking God for His Grace: Faithfulness
I'll try and share a picture where possible.
This is the one I chose for this week...
Such a warrior spirit my sweet son has. It is incomprehensible all the dysfunctions that must be going on in his body - yet he lets nothing stop him from doing what he loves to do. Not more than a few restful moments at least...
Today actually marks two full weeks he has been in school every day, all day. We haven't had that in months upon months.
Today marks 7 days seizure-free. We haven't done that in months upon months.
So on this Thanking God for His Grace Friday, I'll consider being worn out from being able to jump on a trampoline a check-mark in the win column. A column I hope finally catches up to those in the 'other' column.
A few have asked what I attribute his seizure-free stretch to, and I must first answer simply, God. So many times it seems that autism is my idol. That everything revolves around that. But it doesn't. All that is within me revolves around God. Autism just happens to be the solar eclipse in that at times.
Other things are finally finding a doctor, albeit in Florida, who is able and willing to help me with some underlying issues I've felt have been triggers for quite some time, but that no one in the traditional medical community would help me treat.
Viral issues. Yeast issues.
I have been vigorously treating those thanks to this new partnership in Brandon's care. Essential Oils flowing in his room all night thanks to another partner in his care. Servings of medium chain fatty acids with all meals.
All of those things I believe are making a difference.
Brandon is still tired, but I think it's from finally being strong enough to fight off those things without resorting to seizures.
This morning, Friday, it seemed iffy if he would get to go to school. He slept until nearly 11am and then once up and in the bathtub, he fell back asleep. Typically that would mean a seizure was coming. But it didn't. He made it to school by noon.
Whatever it is that's keeping him seizure-free, - I'll take it. I'll keep pressing hard in making more and more of those check marks in that win column, and I'll continue thanking God for His Grace & Faithfulness.
Other reflections of this week center around my warrior friends in this month of autism awareness. On this Friday I continue to be amazed at God's Faithfulness for them. Autism is it's own world of complexities and complications. And so many of my warrior mom's of autism must juggle the flaming swords of other worlds of other complexities and complications. One of them doing something I can smugly sit here and say that I would never do. Ever.Ever.Ever. But I can't really say that. I simply don't know what the future will bring for us. For my son. I am quite sure she sat smugly at one time and thought that too. But her "never" came. I hate how autism makes us make choices no mother should ever.ever.ever have to make. I hate that with all my being. But God is Faithful. He provides and he protects. And I pray that he provides for her the comfort she needs and protects her sweet son who needs so much more than all the love she has for him.
Another friend struggling with the sheer emotions of it all and wondering if that's normal.
Another friend caring for someone who is at the end of their journey as she's knee deep in her own journey.
In each of them I see God's faithfulness. God's grace. As they never quit.
And my sweet husband. If there was ever a symbol of that faithfulness it would be him. He works so very hard all week to provide for us. Once home must work even harder in the partnership of caring for our son. Slowly and surely we are figuring out how to carve time for us, together and individually. To challenge ourselves in being healthier to survive the marathon we must run. He was recently certified as an Open Water Diver. I recently conquered a fear and learned how to swim.
More check marks.
Yes, this week had its challenges. The main one being enduring a month that is to be more action than awareness, yet isn't.
More green than blue, yet isn't.
In seeing how much farther my son has to go and how in the world I will get there.
And how it won't be by celebrating what this month represents or plastering on Facebook glamorized portrayals of who it even represents.
But by celebrating the check marks...
Working hard for them.
And creating more and more opportunities for more and more of them.
Until next Friday ---
Thanking God for His Grace,
Camo Mom TX