On being forged into a warrior mom

If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!

This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.

Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.

November 11, 2012

...is when I carried you.

We've certainly hit some low points in our "Life with Autism."    In fact, we really can't remember anything but brief periods of calm while the chaos reloads.  Seizures seem to have a relentless grip on our son, on our lives, -- so much so that I find myself thinking of the "Footprints in the Sand" poem quite often.

Knowing --

But wondering...

This picture from our life today is our "Footprints in the Sand" photo.  Todd has carried Brandon like this many times.  I just happened to have my phone with me to snap this one.

Brandon had yet another seizure this morning.  On yet another Sunday.  The Lord's Day.  At least though he was awake.  He couldn't walk, but he was awake.

The little things.

I guess no better day than a Sunday to be reminded of how when Todd or I must carry Brandon, that it is God who is carrying us.

Oh if we could all live with the faith Brandon has.  That his Daddy might drop him never, ever enters his mind.

That God would ever forsake us --

Should never ever, enter ours.

Michelle M. Guppy

Footprints in the Sand

 One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
             Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
                  In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
                       Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
                           other times there were one set of footprints.

                                  This bothered me because I noticed
                                that during the low periods of my life,
                             when I was suffering from
                         anguish, sorrow or defeat,
                     I could see only one set of footprints.

          So I said to the Lord,
      "You promised me Lord,
         that if I followed you,
             you would walk with me always.
                   But I have noticed that during
                          the most trying periods of my life
                                 there have only been one
                                       set of footprints in the sand.
                                           Why, when I needed you most,
                                          you have not been there for me?"

                                 The Lord replied,
                          "The times when you have
                  seen only one set of footprints,
          is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

1 comment:

Amy Speed-Rauch said...

beautiful artitculation as always...but that pic is so striking...can't quite explain it...brandon just seems so at peace in his father's arms...