On being forged into a warrior mom
If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!
This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.
Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.
October 13, 2010
A Politically incorrect apology.
It's given me freedom. Freedom to connect with who I want to, and the freedom of not being burdened by connections I don't want.
I wish I could say the same for the battle of getting control of my e-mail account.
In the isolation of my Life with Autism, Facebook is sometimes my only opportunity to see anyone in the outside world.
I've enjoyed connecting better to politicians and policymakers through Facebook...reading their posts, seeing their priorities.
But it saddens me.
I've seen Politicians lately frothing at the mouth at the possibility of a perfect political election storm, in that if so and so loses, so and so will get that seat. That will open up for so and so party to be in control.
Is that what it's become about?
More who is in office than who in office than what's actually done while in office?
It seems the most work done, comes the moment before they might get voted out of having the priviledge of serving the people by working their darndest for them.
I admit I'm pathetic politically.
I'm neither democrat, republican, nor independent; but rather parts of all of them.
I refuse a label that identifies me as a member of any clique.
Ok most cliques.
I'm a Christian, I suppose that could be viewed as a clique as well.
And for some, it is.
I further admit I'm probably part of the problem because many, many, many elections, I never voted. The ones I did, was more a vote against someone than a vote for someone.
And I'm not sure that's the point of voting in the first place.
What I have done faithfully monthly, if not weekly, is contact those in office to express needs and injustices for those who could not do that themselves.
Instead of voting for the lesser of two evils, I've just determined to battle evil period!
And that's such a sad way to view it.
I'm not sure if that balances things out - but the way I see it, our freedom to vote is so watered down by the politics of voting, that I'm not entirely sure it should be called a freedom to vote.
Freedom to vote is now more a freedom to express an opinion between two names on a piece of paper, than a freedom to have had the opportunity for names who truly deserve to be on that piece of paper, be on that piece of paper.
And the profit-mongering-lobbying of the political process has all but squashed that opportunity.
Who better knows how to serve the people, than someone who has suffered alongside of the people?
But how many of those people can afford to get on the ballots?
Either way, as I read more and more on Facebook from those Politicians busy politiking, I wonder who is actually doing the work of serving those people they promised to serve.
I mean, are you really serving the people when you have staged reading times in public schools? Or might that service be better spent alongside a family trying to navigate the system you naively created for them to try to navigate?
Being principal for a day, or being poor for a day?
I don't think too many are actually working for the people.
For the votes maybe, but not the people.
And I'm reminded of what should be the motto for any person who has the honor of being called a politician in office. It was a quote someone heard a Senator say in reply to the Autism legislation that was initially passed a few sessions ago:
"I would have fought for this bill to pass even if it cost me my re-election, because it was the right thing to do..."
That's how it should be.
People on ballots who other people vote for because they want them in office.
People who serve their term as if it will be their last.
Not parties on ballots that do nothing but perpetuate the lameness of a lame duck session of bickering because their very label dictates that they are supposed to disagree with someone of a different label.
Where's the unity of purpose in that?
My son doesn't care if it's a Democrat or Republican who advocates for him anymore than I would vote for Perry simply because I'm a Christian and Christians vote Republican.
No, it should be this:
Candidates not afraid to do hard work, expecting to serve only one term, and using each drop of every day as their once in a lifetime opportunity to make a difference in the world.
Not half a term to try, the other half working even harder for the chance to try again.
My son deserves that kind of political philosophy.
And I'm sorry that it's been way too long since he's been given that.
I'm sorry Brandon, that we have a billion dollar surplus for a rainy day, but that your needs, and the needs of your friends, aren't worthy to be called a rainy day.
I'm sorry Brandon, that we think it more important to build multi-million dollar state-of-the-art stadiums to watch millionaire teams lose in, than it is to meagerly fund a program that gives you a place to hang-out at on a Friday night or Saturday Fun Day.
I'm sorry Carla that we have politicians more excited by the possibility of perfect politicial storms than by you having the choice to live in your community with supports.
I'm sorry Mr. & Mrs. Jones that you are on your third mortgage and have no 401-K left in caring for your son with a disability, because those who you gave your vote to who promised to help you, sold it out to those whose money could get them the political leverage they need to go higher in office while doing less.
I'm sorry all those like my son who have been on a waiting list for years to get services, only to have them cut in half each year, while the paperwork to even get that, triples each year.
I'm sorry all those like Hassib, that the help you needed was replaced with the hatred of others who abuse you versus care for you because of a system that devalues you and pretty much says that not only they can, but they will and will get away with it too.
I'm sorry Michael, that keeping and supporting a broken institutional system means more to a group of parents, lobbyists, & politicians - than your life meant to your family.
I'm sorry to every child being left behind by a not so very special, Special Education system that seeks more to graduate than educate.
I'm sorry to everyone affected by broken systems and broken promises simply because those who were put there to fix them are too busy getting re-elected to office so they can serve another term of not fixing them.
I'm sorry to all of you.
All of you who can't vote, can't speak up, and who can't buy a politicial agenda from a politician more focused on being politically correct than doing the correct thing.
I'm sorry meeting your needs doesn't net returns worthy of your needs being met in the first place.
I'm sorry you don't get treated better.
You deserve better.
We all do.