On being forged into a warrior mom
If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!
This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.
Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.
July 14, 2010
his time, His path...
The world knows about my Brandon... the one whom most of my writings are inspired by.
But I do have another son, Matthew.
He just turned 18 on July 6th.
And a Navy Recruiter just left my living room.
I sit here stunned by that.
Not stunned in horror that he wants to join the Navy, or become a Navy Seal.
I'm quite proud of him for wanting to serve our country in one of the finest ways possible.
"Non Sibi Sed Patriae" --- Not for self but for country...
But stunned that for all practical purposes, my journey as Michelle his 'mommy' has ended; and his journey as Matthew the 'man' has begun.
Three things I know for sure about that: 1) He was never mine, always God's. I was merely the caretaker. 2) His destination in life was never for me to determine. For me to dream about maybe, but not for me to determine. I was merely the tour guide on a pre-destined path designed by God. 3) His life with an autistic brother has prepared him better than I ever could, to face any twist and turn on any path he chooses to follow.
Compared to most any teenagers his age, he's seen more, lived more, endured more, and has matured more.
"Yesterday was the only easy day" -- may be a Navy Seal motto, --- but before I ever heard that saying, it's been how our family's life with autism has been.
So yeah, anything beyond that seems easy in comparison!
And so as in Ecclesiastes 3:1 when it talks about there being a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven, - I suppose it's implied that all those times listed there could apply to your first born son turning 18 and wanting to join the military.
And so as the Recruiter, my son, my husband, and myself sat there for a couple hours asking and answering and then asking again - question after question ---I felt a peace.
I know Matt can do and achieve anything he sets his mind to.
He's brilliant, he's practical, and he's a survivor.
Sure, there are things we don't know...
Sure, there are things I'm scared about for him...
But we have a God for that.
A God who will be with him every step he takes.
A God who knows the plans he has for him, plans to prosper him, give him hope, a future, during this time,
A God who will never leave or forsake anyone who is His, seeking Him, along this path,
The unofficial Navy Motto is:
Non Sibi Sed Patriae
"Not for ourselves but for our Country"
But perhaps Matt, change that last part to "For God."
Country's, like man, can fail you or fall into the hands of evil.
But God can't, and never will.
Always remember that.
I'm so very proud of you son...