On being forged into a warrior mom

If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!

This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.

Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.

July 13, 2010

Come just as you are...

Life is sometimes like the trees in the picture above from the nature trail I walk on.  A seemingly tangled mess of obstacles you have to dodge as best you can -- only to be unexpectedly smacked in the face with a stray branch.

I was reflecting on that today... the events of the past few days of credit card fraud, decisions to be made about autism work, and the ugly argument with my husband about nothing really --- nothing more than stress.

In the past few days I've cursed thieves, my aching back from not being able to walk, even my husband.

And today, the first chance in over a week to 'walk it all out' -- I came to this tangled web of trees, and through the middle of them, the bright sun making it's way through...

It was as if God was inviting me there -- to just stand in that tiny ray of light and just bask in his glory. 

(Sure, I'll go stand in the sun, as if this fish wasn't already being poached by the heat!)

Why would a God who is nothing but good, invite me, a gawdy no-good sinner, to come bask in his glory?

I'll never know that.

Grace, I suppose would be the only answer.

What I do know from today's walk, is that no matter how much I screw up, he will always invite me back into HIS light, saying simply:

Come.....just as you are.

I will.

Leave your failures, foibles, faults, frowns,  and just come to me. 

I did.

Look to me for grace.

I am.

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