On being forged into a warrior mom
If I could summarize our journey from Hell to HOPEISM, it would be in my faith, which I call HOPEISM. It has been my weapon of choice to get me through each battle I have had to fight in my mission to win our war called life with autism and seizures. Vaccine injury to be more specific. It would also be in committing to heart, soul, & mind the words and motto's from Forged, NDCQ, the Lone Survivor, and Levi Lusko in his book, "Through the Eyes of a Lion." I will be forever grateful to the inspiration, encouragement, and mental fortitude found through all of them collectively. Because of that, I am not allowing this tragedy of vaccine injury that has come into our lives to be an obstacle to being used by God. I am instead turning it into an opportunity to be used like never before!
This blog is dedicated to Brandon. His life has been forged by difficulty, obstacles, & all too often because of seizures - pain, blood, broken teeth, & broken bones. Yet through all that he has shown such fortitude. The bravery, strength, & resilience of a true warrior. He taught me that having strength through adversity means that even if you lose every battle, like the Lone Survivor, you never quit fighting until you win the war. That in the words of "NDCQ," you keep "dreaming," keep "daring," & keep "doing." As Team Guppy has yet to be able to escape vaccine injury, we have no choice but to as Levi Lusko writes, "Run toward the Roar." God has indeed given us such incredible power in enduring such impossible pain.
Some days the HOPEISM in that simply takes my breath away.
January 12, 2010
The Greatest Story ever told.....
I thought about that one day during my quiet time when I was evaluating where I was in my Christian walk. Where I wanted to go…and in the legacy I wanted my story to represent for my children.
More than anything, for me doing that little self-reflection helped to define most importantly – what section I did NOT want my story found in. I do not want my life’s story found in the “End Times” section. That section is overcrowded as it is! I don’t want to add mine as well! Many people have had things happen to them that have left them perceiving life as hopeless as the literal “End Times” will be for the unsaved. Not me. Even though I’ve had my own “series of unfortunate events” I refuse to let them define or defeat me. I refuse to walk around with a “Doom and Gloom” attitude. When I go through those times of heartache and hardship, I try my hardest to visualize myself standing on my tippy toes reaching out for God’s Grace and Glory to hold on to. Yeah, satan has knocked me down a time or two – but it’s in the getting back up that counts. Giving up and staying down allows satan to win and it keeps you living a life of futility and not one of faith.
I don’t want my story to be found in the Fiction section either. I want my life to be real. I want my life story to be found in the Non-Fiction section. I want people to see what they get, and get what they see. The good, the bad, and yes, - the ugly! I think many Christians think that they have to have that “perfect smile” plastered on their face 24 hours a day. That eternal smile is most definitely fiction and only to be found in a Wal-Mart commercial! Life is not always all smiles – and to portray anything different – is to live a life of fiction. As a Christian, parent, and witness to others, I want to live a life of reality in that sometimes life is difficult and curve balls are sometimes thrown, and that they do sting when you are hit with one! It’s in the reaction to those times that defines whether your life is fiction or not. If you try to hide the problems and go it alone, that is fiction. If you try to pretend nothing is wrong when others can plainly see that huge red whelp, that is fiction. My greatest legacy to my children and as a witness – is to live a life of truth, not one of lies or false pretension.
I definitely don’t want my story to be found in the self-help section. I’ve been there and done that. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Everything I have tried to do alone – every problem I have tried to fix alone - I have failed at. No vitamins, diet, therapy, meditation, or yoga will fix what only God can. Some of those interventions and advice may temporarily be a “quick fix” – but they do not last very long. God is the only guaranteed solution that will last a lifetime. I’ve learned the hard way that I don’t want to go it alone anymore…. I need God, my church, my family, and those Christian friends that he has brought into my life. I want my Christian witness to be that of what God can do through me. Not of what I can do on my own.
I want my life story found in the humor section. There are so many serious situations in life that are not funny at all – there is no denying that. But those situations that CAN be laughed at, ought to be. Laughter, when appropriate, truly is the best medicine. I want to be able to laugh about it when I find that my son has flooded my house – again. When my checkbook is so far in the red that all the black ink in the world couldn’t change it. I want to be able to laugh and be joyous in as many situations as possible - knowing that God is in control and somehow he will provide; so that satan does not get the satisfaction of one single tear of despair or moment of worry. I want to laugh daily with the joy of just knowing that I am a child of God and that he delights in me! I want my children to see me laugh in the face of adversity, so that when they are older and perhaps facing challenges, they too will learn to laugh. Most importantly – I want to be able to laugh at myself. Instead of crying in humiliation over something stupid or embarrassing I have said or done (which happens often) – I want to be able to just laugh at myself and realize that a mistake is just that – a mistake. Something to learn from. And something that will make for a good story for the grandkids one day!
I’d also like to have parts of my life found in the Children’s section. Too many of us as adults are way too serious! I want to always look at things through the eyes of a child. With awe and curiosity, innocence and purity….. I want to look at God’s creations with the same wonder that my child looks at a butterfly with. One of the greatest blessings in my life – has been my son who has a disability. Not that he has the disability – but what he has taught me through his disability. No matter what his chronological age says, his thoughts and attitudes will always be in a way – childlike. With that – comes the transparency and lightheartedness with which he looks at life through. As adults we think that our age defines how we should behave. Not my son, he will always love a good tickle, swinging at the park, and Mickey Mouse. Shouldn’t we?
But most of all and more than any other section in the bookstore of life --- I want my story to be found in the Romance section. No, not with Fabio and a half-naked woman draped across the cover --- but with God, and his grace and glory covering my life. I want my life in Christ to be a sacred, intimate romance with God. I want to know him and love him and have his presence with me every moment of the day. I want to stay in God’s word so deeply that the “puppy love/infatuation” stage of my romance with him never goes away. I don’t want to grow complacent to where I take that relationship with God for granted. Much like what we should be doing in our marriages - I want to nurture that romance with God daily. I know that if I can keep my life story in the romance section with God – I will never be burned or scorned by betrayal as can happen with worldly situations; and my life, in Christ, will indeed be a happy ending.
If we can decide right now, in whatever stage of life we are in, - which section we want our life story placed – and most importantly where we DON’T want it placed; then surely, as in the song by the same name, our life in Christ will be the greatest story ever told….
Determine today, to make your life in Christ a bestseller….
Written by Michelle M. Guppy